Okay, something funny about writing this post for today…I was struggling a bit to get started because I am itching to get outside and do the very thing I am telling you is okay to do!
One of the most relaxing activities for me is working in the yard, specifically mowing the lawn. With my headphones in and the occasional cocktail by my side, it’s heaven for me.
And so, I’m not going to force a post and do you that injustice. Instead, I’m going to take my own advice and get out there now! I will however leave you with the link below that covers pretty much everything I was hoping to share. I’ll let Forbes take it from here 🙂
Crying is beneficial to you physically and mentally. It is the body’s way of finding release. If we bottle up our sadness, it won’t go away. It will only come out in another form.
When I was a child, my mother would tell me not to cry. To buck it up and push through it. For her, crying was used as a tool, not an expression. I learned to shove the pain I was feeling deep down, never to speak of it again. And it really screwed me up for a long time.
By the time I was a teenager, I was in so much pain with no idea how to express it or myself that I became bitter, needy, and angry. It was a real challenge. One I am better for now, but it’s been a long road to here. What saved me was finding a way to creatively express myself. I channeled my pain into writing mostly, but art as well.
I often say I wrote my memoir through tears and I really did. Even during the final editing and review, I would be sobbing as I revisited my own words. All the pain from my childhood finally had an outlet and allowing those tears to flow was the best thing I could have done for myself. It was a way to release myself from all the sorrows of the past and forgive. It was so freeing.
There seems to be this stigma attached to admitting we are lonely, as if it means we are needy or have trouble making friends. When in all actuality, it is perfectly healthy to feel that way.
Loneliness is not a personality flaw and it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. As with all of our emotions, it’s our body’s way of telling us something. In this case, it is rooted in the deep human need for connection.
When you think of it that way, it is no longer a weakness, but a warning sign. So take a moment to feel it, cry even if you need to and then reach for social interaction.
A lot of times, grief will take the form of loneliness. If you have experienced great loss, it is only natural to feel as though something is missing from your life, as though a piece of you is gone. Again, don’t be afraid to feel it, just don’t set up shop in a tent of your own misery.
In situations such as these, you have two choices: Use it as a crutch by keeping it as a chip on your shoulder; evidence of the bad hand you’ve been dealt – OR – heal your wounds, wear your scars proudly and keep going.
I’m not saying it will be easy, but it will make you stronger and more resilient. And you don’t have to do it alone. In these moments of loneliness, maybe your need for interaction is your body telling you to reach out for some assistance in moving on.
Do you ever feel guilty for relaxing? Like there should be something more productive you should be doing? I do too, but we shouldn’t.
I am in the middle of two great books right now that I can’t seem to finish, because everytime I sit down to read a bit, I feel guilty for not tending to the long list of projects I have around the house.
Do yourself a favor today and take a moment for yourself. Don’t feel guilty for tending to your own mental well being. It is important and many times exactly what you need to find your center.
As always, from my silence comes much inspiration. I’m up to 23K words written for the sequel of Insane Roots (so about 1/2 way there). I was hoping for a release date sometime this fall and I believe that should still be the case, it just may be late fall 🤗
The process of writing this time around has been like stepping back in time, standing like a wallflower in the shadows of my former life. My journal has been a helpful tool in recapping the events of my youth, although hard to read at times. If you wade through the sadness and teenage angst, there is a timeline of crucial information. As with the first book, reliving the bullying and heartbreak of those years has been a therapy session all in itself.
One that has inspired me to dedicate the month of August to #mentalhealthawareness
Highlighting specifically that it is okay not to be okay sometimes. Something I wish someone would have told me during those trying years of high school and beyond. I spent so much energy back then hiding the way I was feeling and the depression and anxiety I battled on a daily basis. I tried to be someone I wasn’t, to fit in, to be “normal”.
Looking back, all I was doing by hiding inside myself was hindering the person I was to become. The person I am proud to be today. The ability to experience a variety of emotions at any given time is the gift of being human although at times it may feel like a curse.
To all those who were cruel to me in the past, I hold no malice nor wish them any ill will. They may be the reason I found it so hard to trust anyone for so long, but now that I am grown, I realize their actions were merely a reflection of emotions they themselves were struggling to deal with. We were all doing the best with could with our level of understanding of the world at that time.
Forgiveness is freeing and it allows us the ability to understand our adversaries from a common ground; being an emotional being.
We are over halfway through 2020 and it has not been easy, but if we are able to find a way to connect on some level of existence, surely we will be moving in the right direction towards unity rather than division.
One thing in life that I believe rings true for everyone is the inevitable truth that there are times in our lives when we are not at the top of our game. For whatever reason, we are not okay.
This August, I would like to remind you that it’s okay, not to be okay.
In fact, it is a healthy and natural part of being human.
Here and across my social media accounts, I shall dedicate each day to some form of not being okay and why that in itself is okay.
The takeaway, I hope, will be the understanding that although division in thought is inevitable, there will always be unity in emotion.