Are You Conscious?

Are you conscious?

Think about that before you answer…

Now let me ask you again.

Are you conscious?

Many of you may think this is a silly question. Of ‘course you are conscious, you are reading this post right now, but that is not the consciousness I am referring to.

I am not referring to being awake, I am referring to being aware.

Are you aware of your actions, your words, your intent?

Are you aware of the impact you have on those around you and yourself?

Do you think before you act, before you speak?

I am not sure if I really understood the gravity of this question until just recently when the actions of the unconscious caused me great pain.

A pain I had not felt in many years that cut to my core just like it was yesterday.

Disappointment is something I am all too familiar with. It is a feeling I thought I had mastered, but apparently not.

It appears that there was at least one more lesson for me to learn on the subject.

I realize now that in some cases, I bring this disappointment on myself by building up expectations in my head.

I can not and should not expect others to feel as strongly as I do about certain things. Nor should I expect them to behave in a way I feel is appropriate.

Some have called me an Empath and after researching the term, I am fairly certain that may be true. I seem to feel things to my core. Which is why the actions and words of others can have a great impact on me.

I think before I act and before I speak because I am conscious. Words have great power and I choose to use this power for good rather than acting on impulse and risk hurting those around me.

Sure, happiness is an inside job, but I don’t want to be the reason someone has to go to work!

Life is all about choice and I choose to focus on the strengths of others rather than their weaknesses. In my opinion, pointing out the flaws of others or expressing my disagreement with their decisions (unless they directly caused me pain) is not productive or necessary.

I would rather lift people up than bring them down. What would be the use in that? It surely cannot add anything positive to their lives or mine.

I don’t believe we are hear to judge. My path is my path and your path is yours. Who am I to tell you you took a wrong turn? Maybe for you, it is the right turn and maybe, just maybe there is a reason why you decided to journey in the direction you did. A reason that I just wouldn’t understand, because I am not you and I am not meant to live your life. I am meant to live my own.


Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at


The Responsibility is Yours

Do you feel as if other people are always the ones messing up your positive vortex?

Abraham Hicks would say that is impossible. It is your negative expectation that is the cause. What you expect from someone it usually what you are going to receive from them. It’s like you are replying the same sad story over and over again in your mind and by doing this you are giving power to that negative vibration. Therefore pulling more and more of it to you.

“You need to forget that you don’t jive in order to jive” – Abraham Hicks

Abraham’s advice is to simply start over, to retrain your way of thinking about that person.

Get a notebook and make a list of the positive aspects of that person to help you move past the negative aspects that you keep focusing on.

Learn how to activate a different part of them in you.

If you truly care about someone, I think it is worth the time.

I find this to be very good advice, given my recent situation.

I was hurt, but that is no reason to keep replaying all the pain over and over in my mind. Justifying to myself why my feelings of disappointment are valid.

There is no room to grow from that place and chances are if someone has been in your life for a long time there is a reason they are there.

Sure relationships and friendships change over time, but it is our responsibility to adjust to them if we truly value the presence of this person in our life.

I am working, so making a list of positive aspects of this person will have to wait until later, but in the meantime I have a plan.

Each time a negative thought or recollection comes to mind about this person today, I will intentionally try to think of a positive time I had with them or a nice thing they have done for me in the past.

If I keep expecting this person to let me down or take advantage of me, they will just keep doing it because that is the vibration I am putting out.

It will be interesting to see the change in them when I begin to expect positive behavior from them rather than negative.

It’s worth a shot right?!


Image courtesy of Rawich at

Rockets of Desire!

I am so excited! I have been exploring the teachings of Abraham Hicks for a few months now and I finally think I am getting the hang of it. I was making it a bit too difficult at first (of ‘course I was), by actually changing every negative thought I had. I realize now that by focusing so much attention to negative behavior, I was only attracting more struggles with my negative patterns. I now realize that it is more about paying attention to your feelings and what they are telling you about any individual moment in time. It’s about recognizing what you don’t want by being aware of the source of the feelings connected to those things.

Over and over again Abraham has said “By knowing what we don’t want, we can better understand what it is that we do want”.

The main goal in all of this is to focus on that; what we do want, what makes us happy.

When this deeper realization of the law of attraction came to me, it was like someone lite a match in my head. A fire of relief trickled down my body and I felt as though I had finally found the path I had been searching for.

When I moved to Denver, I moved here on a quest to reconnect with myself. I wasn’t sure if I had ever really known who that was and it was time to find out. I had a general idea of what I wanted, but did I really know…deep down… did I truly know what my heart’s desire was? The fact that I wasn’t sure pretty much confirmed the soul searching I needed to do.

We spend so much time thinking about what we want from the view point of not having it; the lack of. But what if we shift this to a feeling of how it would feel to actually have it?

Having faith and trust that all of our dreams will come true if we only believe they will is a much more positive view point than how much happier we will be if we ever get them.

Abraham helped me learn to appreciate the moment I was in and not spend all my time worrying about what would happen next. This was a huge mind shift for me. For anyone who has followed my story, you know that from a very early age I was always worrying about what would happen next. I never knew and in many cases it was not just a small bump in the road, but a complete life changing event. I spent almost every spare moment of every day worrying about what would happen tomorrow or the next day or the next year for that matter. Sometimes I feel as though I missed a large part of my life because I was never truly present in any moment. My mind was always somewhere else. Distracted by the ‘what if’ scenarios I was playing out in my head. It’s no wonder I lost track of myself along the way.

Letting go of the resistance to what we want is the hardest part. Abolishing the belief of lack that is so ingrained in us is very challenging. We were not taught that we live in a world of abundance, but rather one of struggle and scarcity. A world where we are surrounded by good and bad, but good deeds are mostly un-noticed while tragedy holds the spotlight. We hold beliefs such as ‘nothing good ever happens to me’ or ‘I never get what I want’. It may sound silly, but I know I have thought that to myself a time or two.

Well do you know what? When we think these thoughts, we are most likely correct because that is what we believe. So strongly that we have accepted it as fact and therefore as our own reality. This is the place where we are currently vibrating and will forever continue to until we break the cycle.

How do we break the cycle?

What if every time we had a negative feeling (or thought which produces the corresponding emotion), we stopped for a moment and asked ourselves why we were feeling/thinking this way? What about that don’t we want. For example, I battle with my self esteem, so I may think to myself, “You look horrible” and I immediately feel horrible.

Why do I feel horrible? The answer to this question is usually what I don’t want; I don’t want to feel ugly or over weight.

What we do want is usually the exact opposite of that.

By doing this, I now have a better understanding of what I do want.

You can even take it a step further and ask yourself why you want this; I want to be self confident and healthy because… and go on and on until you are getting really excited about what it is that you do want and all the wonderful reasons why (not how; that’s lack) you want it, what it will feel like to have it and how satisfying it will be to achieve it.

Abraham refers to this as “launching rockets of desire!” ~ I just love that!~

Basically anything you can do to switch your thinking from a place of lack to that of fulfillment keeps you in vibrational harmony with your true self and the creative source within you.

For me, I find that it is more or less keeping myself from complaining (lol) and/or feeling/thinking negatively. I’m much more in tune with my emotions. When I feel upset about something, I don’t just go with it. I stop for a second and try to get to the root of it.

This also helps in making the best of a bad situation. Instead of focusing on how unhappy you are, look for positive things around you to focus on. The party you are at may suck, but there has to be something or someone there that has something positive to offer. Go outside and gaze at the sky if you are really desperate. In this case I guess you could leave, but you get the idea.  Find something good in the moment you are in and put your energy there.This has helped me immensely.

From my experience, the more I focus my attention on the good in my life, the less time I spend worrying about all that it is lacking.

I am thankful for this moment in time and all that surrounds me and I have faith that as long as I stay true to myself that everything will work out as it should.

Call it a sigh of relief after a lifetime of living in uncertainty.



Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at

This Too Shall Pass…

Today was one of those days…

I strive to always be positive, but I was reminded today just how challenging that can be sometimes.

It started out okay, just a few bumps in the road that I was able to get past with the usual positive affirmations. However, as the day rolled on I found it harder and harder to snap myself out of it. One small tragedy after another presented itself to me until I was eventually left with this deep feeling of sadness. Normally, I can pinpoint the root of my emotions, but today I couldn’t.

I know I am a bit over emotional this week due to my monthly visitor, but even this awareness was not enough to help me snap out of it. By the time I completed my work day, I could feel the inevitable sobbing that was to come.

On my walk home, I reminded myself that I had a package to pick up at the office and I thought,  “Well, that should cheer me up!”

Hoping this would do the trick, I walked into my building and immediately walked to the leasing office. The leasing agent in the office very rudely refused to honor my request. Which (having been in leasing before) I would normally completely understand, but did he have to be rude? I wasn’t. I said “okay, thank you” and walked out.

Just as I was leaving, I noticed a very young, slender, pretty girl walk into the office and watched as the leasing agent completely dropped everything he was doing to tend to her request. Really?

That was it.

As many of you know, I have been working very hard to overcome my issues with self-esteem and in this moment of instability I felt those old familiar feelings of inadequacy start to creep in. All those negative thoughts of not being pretty, skinny or young enough flooded my mind.

Fighting tears, I walked to the elevator and waited for what seemed like forever until I would be home.

I walked in my apartment, went directly to my bedroom and face planted on the bed. Crying incessantly until I could hardly breathe. I knew I was being ridiculous, but that realization just made me feel worse and I cried even harder.

It had been longer than I could remember that I had felt this way and I hated it. I was now upset with myself for a reason I had no trouble pinpointing. I had allowed the world around me take my joy away and I was ashamed.

I had fallen into the “human drama” that Dr. Joe Dispenza always refers to. I let my negative thoughts create negative emotions over and over again until I completely lost control.

As I write to you now, I have obviously had some time to reflect. I have forgiven myself for losing control and reassured myself that the state I was in today is not something to be ashamed of. If anything it is something to be proud of. A year ago, I would not have been able to reflect on this moment with such clarity and I may not have been able to snap out of it for days. I have battled with depression for many years and days like these used to last for weeks, even months.

Today, was just a day.

Photo credits to: “the Dreamer” courtesy of