Rampage of Self!

Does it seem to you that everyone always seems to have an opinion on how you should live your life?

They not just weigh in on the decisions you make, but begin to draw their own conclusions about whether you are making the right choices for your life as a whole…in their opinion.

Well here is the interesting (and sometimes frustrating) thing about that…

The only person who holds all the information needed to formulate those opinions is yourself. The people in your life may know you, but if you are really in tune with yourself than the only person who truly knows you inside and out is you.  In most cases, wouldn’t this mean that you just might have a relatively good grasp on what is best for you?

Quite some time ago, I read The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. Together with the teachings of Abraham Hicks and others, I have completely changed my way of thinking. I used to live my life based on the opinions of others. Always asking for advice and never having the gumption to make my own choices without the reassurance from someone else that I was doing the right thing.

I no longer need this validation from others. I am confident in who I am and what I want. I am also completely fine with making my own decisions and dealing with the repercussions of those decisions. I believe we are meant to experience life in all of it’s glory, never letting the fear of the unknown stop us from pursuing our dreams.

The most interesting part of all of this is that the same people who once told me that I needed to break away from my old habits of living for everyone else are the same people telling me how I should live now. Hmmm…

I want to say to them (I’ve said this before)…”I love you very much, but I don’t care what you think!” – Abraham Hicks.

I am not that same insecure person I was two years ago. I am no longer lost. I am no longer fearful. I am happy living the single life and I am completely content with my social status. I am proud of the person I have become and I am looking forward to the journey ahead. I no longer spend my time in a state of worry or regret. I have made mistakes, owned those mistakes and have become a better person as the result of those mistakes.

So, although I appreciate the love you have for me and I know that you are just trying to help…if I want your opinion/advice, I will ask for it! If you truly love me, you will support my decisions and stop trying to change my mind simply because it is what you think is best for me.

There is a chance you may be right, but if I do not follow my heart, I will forever wonder where I would be if I had. That is a risk I am no longer willing to take.

I very strongly believe there is a plan for each of us and everything will work out as it should in the end. However, the more we allow others to determine our course of action the further we travel away from our true selves.

Tomorrow is not promised to any of us and therefore should we not try our best to live each day based on our own personal set of principles?

Each one of us is different in our own way. That is what makes this life so deliciously interesting. There are so many different types of people in this world and what they value can differ greatly from that of others. Therefore what is right for one person may not be what is right for another. When we make blanket statements about others in regards to their happiness, although we may be coming from a place of love, we must remember that these opinions are being filtered through our own view of the world.  A view that can in no way be the same as that of another. Why? Because we have all experienced life differently.

Just because someone is happy in their current situation, does not necessarily mean they should stay in that place forever. First of all, maybe they are just a happy person by nature and content in any moment in time simply out of the appreciation for this life. Does this mean they should never change their course of action? For example, I am very happy being single, but does that mean I should never settle down? Of ‘course not.

Another thing to consider is that perhaps you do not have the whole story. I used to be someone who aired my dirty laundry all over the place. If I was upset about something everyone knew and usually knew why. I also used to be a person who got upset rather easily. Someone would look at me wrong and it would ruin my day. I am no longer that person. Mostly because I no longer sweat the small stuff and more importantly because I have learned not to take things personally. The actions of others are rooted in themselves and therefore unless I outwardly did something to warrant a negative response (which is rare), then I just don’t worry about it. There is no need to internalize someone’s bad behavior as if it was somehow my fault or my responsibility to fix.

When we know who we truly are, what is most important to us and what we really want to achieve in this life there is a certain security that comes along with that. It is the foundation that allows us to navigate through this life with the confidence to make our own life choices.

I have learned over the course of my life that for me, family is of the highest value. I have lost so many and in many cases missed years of with them simply because I was somewhere else. To be blessed with so many people in my life is something I will never take for-granted again. I learned the hard way that time spent with those you love is the most precious of all time spent on this earth. That is why for me, happiness is based upon treasuring those moments above all else.

My motivation for all decisions to come is based upon this value and this value alone; time is precious. It is not the same for everyone and therefore I would not expect my opinions to be the same either. However, I respect the choices of others and although I may disagree, I will never tell you what you are doing is not right for you.

All I ask in return is the same.

 

 

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Are You Conscious?

Are you conscious?

Think about that before you answer…

Now let me ask you again.

Are you conscious?

Many of you may think this is a silly question. Of ‘course you are conscious, you are reading this post right now, but that is not the consciousness I am referring to.

I am not referring to being awake, I am referring to being aware.

Are you aware of your actions, your words, your intent?

Are you aware of the impact you have on those around you and yourself?

Do you think before you act, before you speak?

I am not sure if I really understood the gravity of this question until just recently when the actions of the unconscious caused me great pain.

A pain I had not felt in many years that cut to my core just like it was yesterday.

Disappointment is something I am all too familiar with. It is a feeling I thought I had mastered, but apparently not.

It appears that there was at least one more lesson for me to learn on the subject.

I realize now that in some cases, I bring this disappointment on myself by building up expectations in my head.

I can not and should not expect others to feel as strongly as I do about certain things. Nor should I expect them to behave in a way I feel is appropriate.

Some have called me an Empath and after researching the term, I am fairly certain that may be true. I seem to feel things to my core. Which is why the actions and words of others can have a great impact on me.

I think before I act and before I speak because I am conscious. Words have great power and I choose to use this power for good rather than acting on impulse and risk hurting those around me.

Sure, happiness is an inside job, but I don’t want to be the reason someone has to go to work!

Life is all about choice and I choose to focus on the strengths of others rather than their weaknesses. In my opinion, pointing out the flaws of others or expressing my disagreement with their decisions (unless they directly caused me pain) is not productive or necessary.

I would rather lift people up than bring them down. What would be the use in that? It surely cannot add anything positive to their lives or mine.

I don’t believe we are hear to judge. My path is my path and your path is yours. Who am I to tell you you took a wrong turn? Maybe for you, it is the right turn and maybe, just maybe there is a reason why you decided to journey in the direction you did. A reason that I just wouldn’t understand, because I am not you and I am not meant to live your life. I am meant to live my own.

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Responsibility is Yours

Do you feel as if other people are always the ones messing up your positive vortex?

Abraham Hicks would say that is impossible. It is your negative expectation that is the cause. What you expect from someone it usually what you are going to receive from them. It’s like you are replying the same sad story over and over again in your mind and by doing this you are giving power to that negative vibration. Therefore pulling more and more of it to you.

“You need to forget that you don’t jive in order to jive” – Abraham Hicks

Abraham’s advice is to simply start over, to retrain your way of thinking about that person.

Get a notebook and make a list of the positive aspects of that person to help you move past the negative aspects that you keep focusing on.

Learn how to activate a different part of them in you.

If you truly care about someone, I think it is worth the time.

I find this to be very good advice, given my recent situation.

I was hurt, but that is no reason to keep replaying all the pain over and over in my mind. Justifying to myself why my feelings of disappointment are valid.

There is no room to grow from that place and chances are if someone has been in your life for a long time there is a reason they are there.

Sure relationships and friendships change over time, but it is our responsibility to adjust to them if we truly value the presence of this person in our life.

I am working, so making a list of positive aspects of this person will have to wait until later, but in the meantime I have a plan.

Each time a negative thought or recollection comes to mind about this person today, I will intentionally try to think of a positive time I had with them or a nice thing they have done for me in the past.

If I keep expecting this person to let me down or take advantage of me, they will just keep doing it because that is the vibration I am putting out.

It will be interesting to see the change in them when I begin to expect positive behavior from them rather than negative.

It’s worth a shot right?!

 

Image courtesy of Rawich at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Rockets of Desire!

I am so excited! I have been exploring the teachings of Abraham Hicks for a few months now and I finally think I am getting the hang of it. I was making it a bit too difficult at first (of ‘course I was), by actually changing every negative thought I had. I realize now that by focusing so much attention to negative behavior, I was only attracting more struggles with my negative patterns. I now realize that it is more about paying attention to your feelings and what they are telling you about any individual moment in time. It’s about recognizing what you don’t want by being aware of the source of the feelings connected to those things.

Over and over again Abraham has said “By knowing what we don’t want, we can better understand what it is that we do want”.

The main goal in all of this is to focus on that; what we do want, what makes us happy.

When this deeper realization of the law of attraction came to me, it was like someone lite a match in my head. A fire of relief trickled down my body and I felt as though I had finally found the path I had been searching for.

When I moved to Denver, I moved here on a quest to reconnect with myself. I wasn’t sure if I had ever really known who that was and it was time to find out. I had a general idea of what I wanted, but did I really know…deep down… did I truly know what my heart’s desire was? The fact that I wasn’t sure pretty much confirmed the soul searching I needed to do.

We spend so much time thinking about what we want from the view point of not having it; the lack of. But what if we shift this to a feeling of how it would feel to actually have it?

Having faith and trust that all of our dreams will come true if we only believe they will is a much more positive view point than how much happier we will be if we ever get them.

Abraham helped me learn to appreciate the moment I was in and not spend all my time worrying about what would happen next. This was a huge mind shift for me. For anyone who has followed my story, you know that from a very early age I was always worrying about what would happen next. I never knew and in many cases it was not just a small bump in the road, but a complete life changing event. I spent almost every spare moment of every day worrying about what would happen tomorrow or the next day or the next year for that matter. Sometimes I feel as though I missed a large part of my life because I was never truly present in any moment. My mind was always somewhere else. Distracted by the ‘what if’ scenarios I was playing out in my head. It’s no wonder I lost track of myself along the way.

Letting go of the resistance to what we want is the hardest part. Abolishing the belief of lack that is so ingrained in us is very challenging. We were not taught that we live in a world of abundance, but rather one of struggle and scarcity. A world where we are surrounded by good and bad, but good deeds are mostly un-noticed while tragedy holds the spotlight. We hold beliefs such as ‘nothing good ever happens to me’ or ‘I never get what I want’. It may sound silly, but I know I have thought that to myself a time or two.

Well do you know what? When we think these thoughts, we are most likely correct because that is what we believe. So strongly that we have accepted it as fact and therefore as our own reality. This is the place where we are currently vibrating and will forever continue to until we break the cycle.

How do we break the cycle?

What if every time we had a negative feeling (or thought which produces the corresponding emotion), we stopped for a moment and asked ourselves why we were feeling/thinking this way? What about that don’t we want. For example, I battle with my self esteem, so I may think to myself, “You look horrible” and I immediately feel horrible.

Why do I feel horrible? The answer to this question is usually what I don’t want; I don’t want to feel ugly or over weight.

What we do want is usually the exact opposite of that.

By doing this, I now have a better understanding of what I do want.

You can even take it a step further and ask yourself why you want this; I want to be self confident and healthy because… and go on and on until you are getting really excited about what it is that you do want and all the wonderful reasons why (not how; that’s lack) you want it, what it will feel like to have it and how satisfying it will be to achieve it.

Abraham refers to this as “launching rockets of desire!” ~ I just love that!~

Basically anything you can do to switch your thinking from a place of lack to that of fulfillment keeps you in vibrational harmony with your true self and the creative source within you.

For me, I find that it is more or less keeping myself from complaining (lol) and/or feeling/thinking negatively. I’m much more in tune with my emotions. When I feel upset about something, I don’t just go with it. I stop for a second and try to get to the root of it.

This also helps in making the best of a bad situation. Instead of focusing on how unhappy you are, look for positive things around you to focus on. The party you are at may suck, but there has to be something or someone there that has something positive to offer. Go outside and gaze at the sky if you are really desperate. In this case I guess you could leave, but you get the idea.  Find something good in the moment you are in and put your energy there.This has helped me immensely.

From my experience, the more I focus my attention on the good in my life, the less time I spend worrying about all that it is lacking.

I am thankful for this moment in time and all that surrounds me and I have faith that as long as I stay true to myself that everything will work out as it should.

Call it a sigh of relief after a lifetime of living in uncertainty.

 

 

Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Keeping Myself in The Vortex

In my last post, I reference the teachings of Ester and Jerry Hicks. This idea that we are vibrational beings. Vibrational beings with the power to deliberately create our own reality by taking control of our thoughts.

I was doing good with the every day. Each time my mind jumped to the negative, I immediately thought of something positive. Every time I started to put focus on what I didn’t want/have, I would catch myself and spend double the amount of time thinking of all that I do have.

It was hard work.

After just a few days, I noticed a huge change in the way I was feeling on a daily basis. That alone was enough motivation to keep at it.

Eventually, I found that my mind began automatically jumping to the positive more than it would to the negative. So much so that a positive affirmation would come into my mind just as something negative began to happen. It was becoming my auto response to negativity. I really was rewiring my brain! The ‘Debbie Downer’ who used to pilot my subconscious was replaced by ‘Peggie Positive’ and it was changing my perspective on everything.

And if this was not enough, I could feel myself gaining the courage to do things my social anxiety had kept me from doing before. I began putting myself in situations where I knew I would feel uncomfortable, just to challenge myself and practice staying in what Ester Hicks refers to as “the vortex”.

When I first started listening to her, the concept for me was a bit hard to grasp. What the heck is “the vortex” and why would I want to be in it?

I think I get it now.

According to Dr. Joe Dispenza, when we have a thought, our brain produces a chemical to make us feel what ever it is that coincides with the thought we are having. Much like we can get caught in a downward spiral (or vortex) of negativity, we can also forcefully keep ourselves in an upward spiral (or vortex) of positivity. And, according to the Law of Attraction, the energy we put out to the world comes back like a boomerang to create our reality.

Visually I like to think of it as a tornado of emotions swirling about. The positive feelings lift you up higher and higher above the ground to avoid inducing chaos below, where as the negative feelings drag you down closer and closer to the ground leaving a trail of carnage in its wake.

It’s pretty crazy when you think about this on an even larger scale such as the collective consciousness, but that’s a whole other post! lol

Point being, I began to notice a major change in my thinking and its reflection in my everyday life.

I was feeling pretty good 🙂

So, I decided to do something I have not done in years. I decided to make plans for my birthday. Every year for as long as I can remember, I have avoided my birthday like the plague. Having issues with social anxiety, I was never too keen on being the center of attention. Not to mention I have a pretty lousy track record in years past with making plans and ending up disappointed.

The best example being my 21st birthday when all plans came to a screeching halt when my grandmother passed away just two days before. I spent the big day planning her funeral with my grandfather. It was devastating. Something in me changed after that. For fear of everything falling apart, I never planned anything again. Whatever happened, happened.

I realize now that this was very silly. I was dwelling on the past and refusing to have a different future. Armed with my new outlook on life, I was ready to break the pattern.

The first change I made this year was that I didn’t take my birthday off from work to hide away from the world. I embraced the birthday wishes and felt appreciation to be the center of attention for one day. My co-workers decorated my cube and gave me some very thoughtful gifts. I felt very loved. Especially since I have only worked there since April.

My roommate and I had made plans that night to go to Toby Keith’s, I Love This Bar. I love country music and I read on the website that you receive a free steak dinner for your birthday by signing up for the VIP club (it’s free). I signed up a few days before and I was pumped the whole day to go. I love all kinds of music, but I was raised on country so something about it feels like home to me. Which was perfect because this was the first time in years that I would be away from my friends on my birthday.

From the moment I walked in the door I was jamming to country radio, amping myself up for the night ahead. I was so excited!

As I started to get ready, I could feel the anxiety encroaching on my good mood. I countered the worry by reminding myself of how excited I had been all day. Was I really going to let social anxiety keep me from enjoying myself? NO!

Then I began trying to find something to wear and I could feel the self-defeating thoughts start creep in. I was constantly having to bring myself back to the positive. It was kind of exhausting, but by the time I was ready to walk out the door I felt more centered than I have ever felt before. I was ready.

We listened to Toby Keith all the way to the bar. I was pumped! And you know what?

They were closed!

Yup.

Was this the boomerang effect from all those years of fearful thinking? Maybe so, but not for long.

I didn’t let it get me down. Instead, I considered the idea that there was probably a very good reason we were not supposed to go to that bar that night. Something better was surely around the corner.

And it was. Instead of going to just one place, we went to several. Including a pretty cool Blues bar (my 2nd love!) that I may have never found had I not been in that area.

The night ended up being really fun, even if our plans didn’t pan out.

I feel as if I have been given a second chance to take control of my life. It has not been easy, but it has definitely been worth it.

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