Does it seem to you that everyone always seems to have an opinion on how you should live your life?
They not just weigh in on the decisions you make, but begin to draw their own conclusions about whether you are making the right choices for your life as a whole…in their opinion.
Well here is the interesting (and sometimes frustrating) thing about that…
The only person who holds all the information needed to formulate those opinions is yourself. The people in your life may know you, but if you are really in tune with yourself than the only person who truly knows you inside and out is you. In most cases, wouldn’t this mean that you just might have a relatively good grasp on what is best for you?
Quite some time ago, I read The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. Together with the teachings of Abraham Hicks and others, I have completely changed my way of thinking. I used to live my life based on the opinions of others. Always asking for advice and never having the gumption to make my own choices without the reassurance from someone else that I was doing the right thing.
I no longer need this validation from others. I am confident in who I am and what I want. I am also completely fine with making my own decisions and dealing with the repercussions of those decisions. I believe we are meant to experience life in all of it’s glory, never letting the fear of the unknown stop us from pursuing our dreams.
The most interesting part of all of this is that the same people who once told me that I needed to break away from my old habits of living for everyone else are the same people telling me how I should live now. Hmmm…
I want to say to them (I’ve said this before)…”I love you very much, but I don’t care what you think!” – Abraham Hicks.
I am not that same insecure person I was two years ago. I am no longer lost. I am no longer fearful. I am happy living the single life and I am completely content with my social status. I am proud of the person I have become and I am looking forward to the journey ahead. I no longer spend my time in a state of worry or regret. I have made mistakes, owned those mistakes and have become a better person as the result of those mistakes.
So, although I appreciate the love you have for me and I know that you are just trying to help…if I want your opinion/advice, I will ask for it! If you truly love me, you will support my decisions and stop trying to change my mind simply because it is what you think is best for me.
There is a chance you may be right, but if I do not follow my heart, I will forever wonder where I would be if I had. That is a risk I am no longer willing to take.
I very strongly believe there is a plan for each of us and everything will work out as it should in the end. However, the more we allow others to determine our course of action the further we travel away from our true selves.
Tomorrow is not promised to any of us and therefore should we not try our best to live each day based on our own personal set of principles?
Each one of us is different in our own way. That is what makes this life so deliciously interesting. There are so many different types of people in this world and what they value can differ greatly from that of others. Therefore what is right for one person may not be what is right for another. When we make blanket statements about others in regards to their happiness, although we may be coming from a place of love, we must remember that these opinions are being filtered through our own view of the world. A view that can in no way be the same as that of another. Why? Because we have all experienced life differently.
Just because someone is happy in their current situation, does not necessarily mean they should stay in that place forever. First of all, maybe they are just a happy person by nature and content in any moment in time simply out of the appreciation for this life. Does this mean they should never change their course of action? For example, I am very happy being single, but does that mean I should never settle down? Of ‘course not.
Another thing to consider is that perhaps you do not have the whole story. I used to be someone who aired my dirty laundry all over the place. If I was upset about something everyone knew and usually knew why. I also used to be a person who got upset rather easily. Someone would look at me wrong and it would ruin my day. I am no longer that person. Mostly because I no longer sweat the small stuff and more importantly because I have learned not to take things personally. The actions of others are rooted in themselves and therefore unless I outwardly did something to warrant a negative response (which is rare), then I just don’t worry about it. There is no need to internalize someone’s bad behavior as if it was somehow my fault or my responsibility to fix.
When we know who we truly are, what is most important to us and what we really want to achieve in this life there is a certain security that comes along with that. It is the foundation that allows us to navigate through this life with the confidence to make our own life choices.
I have learned over the course of my life that for me, family is of the highest value. I have lost so many and in many cases missed years of with them simply because I was somewhere else. To be blessed with so many people in my life is something I will never take for-granted again. I learned the hard way that time spent with those you love is the most precious of all time spent on this earth. That is why for me, happiness is based upon treasuring those moments above all else.
My motivation for all decisions to come is based upon this value and this value alone; time is precious. It is not the same for everyone and therefore I would not expect my opinions to be the same either. However, I respect the choices of others and although I may disagree, I will never tell you what you are doing is not right for you.
All I ask in return is the same.