Every morning before I open my eyes, I wonder if this will be the day.
The day when I no longer have to fight to be strong, save face and pretend that everything is okay.
The day when I say everything is great and I actually mean it.
A day when my heart is no longer broken and the idea of love no longer makes me sick to my stomach.
A day when the memories of almost lovers no longer circle my mind
Leaving me wondering if I will ever get it right.
And for that matter if any of this is really even worth it.
Every day is a struggle
This internal battle between what I want and what is right.
So I take a deep breath and hold on to the prospect of a new beginning.
As my feet touch the floor, I can feel the heaviness begin to abound.
Creeping slowly through my veins like the venom of a snake
Tears of loneliness bubble to the surface
As I gaze in the mirror at the broken girl on the other side.
You are strong I tell her, you are powerful, intelligent, and beautiful.
And with a smile, I grasp ever so tightly to the peaceful hope that if I can just make it through one more day…
That maybe tomorrow everything really will be okay.