With hope in her heart she stumbled,
This time would be different.
In love and war.
For she finally found the courage,
To bare her soul,
And was met with only regret.
Once again the fool,
For something that was real.
She will never have.
He is of the peculiar,
A sensual air of mystery in his eyes,
And truth in his heart.
Hidden from the normal,
Is a man capable of greatness beyond their understanding.
For he is one who holds the power,
To light a fire in the souls of men.
It’s different now…the darkness.
In the past it didn’t matter.
I was never lonely.
Nothing to miss,
No presence I longed for,
No craving of a kiss.
I’m feeling an emptiness,
More than I ever wanted,
Oh the sweet sensation of your lips,
Lingering on my skin.
I’m lost love,
In the midst of all that we could be.
I’m scared love,
So terrified of you.
And so I back away,
In which I always seem to find my way.
These bricks of fear I mortar,
I could never be loved…
Not by you.
It simply must…
Be too good to be true.
The sadness comes in waves sometimes, breaking me before I even know it’s there.
It is not its presence that is off putting, but rather the crippling unknown source of the pain.
This mask is beginning to shows its age now and some days the light shines through.
Exposing the vulnerability of a wounded soul.
It is odd, how feelings of joy can welcome this pain.
As if to remind me, that everything fades.
And the greater the love, the deeper the loss.
I guess I have grown accustomed to the emptiness.
That dark cloud looming over my existence.
On the outside, I appear not to be damaged, but on the inside I am falling apart.
Or at least I always was.
It is unfamiliar and perhaps the root of this struggle.
For lately, I find myself less broken.
A peculiar state of mind for a member of the strange.
The uncomfortable knowing that you have been discovered.
And embraced even still.
Image courtesy of hyena reality at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Sometimes I feel as though I was not meant for this world
But rather a lonely spectator
Watching in the shadows
As the lives of others pass me by
Perhaps in another time
Or another place
Somewhere between tomorrow and today
I am lost
among the mysteries of the universe
For a moment today
It felt like home
The way my name
Rolled gently from his lips
My knees quivering
My heart pounding in my chest
I wanted to tell him then
How I craved his skin
That feeling of passion
I only felt with him
For a moment
I felt as though I belonged
And just like that
It was gone