Book Signing – 3/3/18 Madison, WI

Super excited to be doing another book signing and this time with two amazing women, Julie Wood & Susan Young!

Book Signing

Julie Wood is an author, teacher and national presenter on youth entrepreneurship. She has presented on entrepreneurship education, youth entrepreneurship, business operations, productivity and technology at local, regional and national conferences including: National Association of Small Business Development Centers, Chamber of Commerce events, Midwest Entrepreneurship Conference, WI State Training Conference, WI Transition Improvement Grant Conference. She has been hired to teach youth entrepreneur camps for kids ages 9-15 and has trained numerous teachers in basic entrepreneurship skills and the Biz Ops Game.

Eseedling.com

Susan Young runs the speaking and training company, Susan Young International. She works with people who want to harness the power of change to improve positivity, engagement, and communication.

SusanSpeaks.com

And well, you all know me 🙂 – Tiffany Rochelle (- Bybee)

InsaneRoots.com

Thank you all for your support, it means the world to me. If you are in the Madison area, I hope to see you there!

Advertisements

A Relevant Reflection

Exciting news! I am just about finished putting together the timeline for the Insane Roots book series! So far it is looking like there will be at least four additional books. I am down to the last two journals!!

Sadly, I stopped consistently keeping a journal around 2008, so hopefully my memory doesn’t fail me filling in the gaps between then and starting my blog 🙂

Anyway! I found this little gem in one of my journals from 2002 and I thought I’d give you a little teaser…

Without giving too much away (hopefully), I wrote this when I was living in West Seattle and dating a man I almost married. There is a huge crazy story there, but you’ll have to wait for book #3!! Teehee.

It was untitled, but the first thought that came to my mind was that it was a relevant reflection, so I changed it!

A Relevant Reflection

February 9, 2002

Mr. Serious Man,

Why so sad?

Your eyes are turning that lighter shade of blue.

These are the times I fear for you.

Are you pondering a million questions?

Lost to the answers.

Perhaps… you think too much,

Or should not think alone.

Clarity comes from the ability to clear your mind.

Do the answers really matter?

The day is at hand!

If you waste it by thinking of tomorrow,

You’ll never enjoy today.

And as time goes on,

You’ll never know the true joy,

In this crazy beautiful life.

 

I Am Among The Strange

As you all know, I have been struggling with how to begin writing the next installment of Insane Roots; my story. And it truly is my story.

This time, it is more than a collection of memories from my childhood woven together with emotion and neatly printed on a page.

That was merely the foundation for the person I am today. The things I have experienced do not define me. Sure, they had something to do with the end result, but we all feel heartbreak. That in itself is not unique.

The real story, is how I came to find myself along the way.

It is in the journey of discovering my inner strength.

I have felt broken more than a time or two in my life, but every time, I manage to find the courage to pick myself up and move forward. THAT defines me!

Sometimes I may only muster up enough to put on my mask long enough to get through the day, but the point is that I do it.

Over and over again, I do it.

On the inside, I may be falling apart, but to the rest of the world, I have it all together.

Telling that story, means baring my soul. It means, sharing my darkest secret.

The secret…that deep beneath the surface lies someone they will never understand.

She doesn’t think like you. She doesn’t love like you and most of all, she doesn’t understand you.

This person goes out into the world each day hidden behind a mask of social acceptance.

Sometimes it is the only thing that gets them to tomorrow.

And let me be clear, I am not talking about just putting on a happy face. My closest friends can see right through that!

It’s something more. Something only another person wearing one would understand (and I’ve only met one in my life).

I alluded to it once in a poem and it is perhaps the best explanation I can give to the reasoning behind wearing the mask.

For A Moment – Insane Roots 8.30.17 (excerpt)

“Sometimes I feel as though I was not meant for this world

But rather a lonely spectator

Watching in the shadows

As the lives of others pass me by

Perhaps in another time

Or another place

Somewhere between tomorrow and today

I am lost

wandering alone

among the mysteries of the universe

…”

To sum it up, it is the feeling of constantly searching for your place in a world that will never understand you.

You are different and that is all there is to it.

There comes a day when you realize that you are among the strange. Unique to the composition of your current reality.

The intensity by which you feel will frighten even the bravest of lovers. So you walk alone.

Knowing in your heart that no one is coming to save you. That job is entirely yours.

And maybe there is more to all of this.

Maybe I am lingering in the doorway to something beyond our current human constructs… or maybe it is simply that I was never meant to be understood.

 

 

 

 

What if we don’t have to be broken?

I think one of the most difficult parts of growing up is finding the strength to pull the skeletons from your closet. It would seem so much easier to hide them away forever and leave the past in the past, but in everything we have done that we are not proud of, there is a little piece of ourselves hidden among the ashes.

I hear a lot of people say they are broken. I have even said it myself in the past.

What if we don’t have to be broken?

What if there was a way to put ourselves back together?

When I first started writing my memoir, I remember it being very painful at times. Revisiting memories that I had selectively forgotten in order to save my own sanity.

As soon as I opened the door to my childhood, they all came rushing out and the wall of security I had built began tumbling down out around me.

It was from within one of the lowest moments of my life that I found my greatest strength.

One by one, I confronted all the residual emotional patterns that I had built up during those years.

The feelings of disappointment, neglect, abandonment, and loss.

The root of my constant need for approval and codependency.

My fear of love or the loss there of.

Piece by piece, I began putting myself back together.

Until I came to a place of great appreciation for all that I had experienced.

I was a new person the day I finished the first chapter and even more so as I wrote the final page.

And now, as I struggle with the pages of the 2nd, I am reminded of the same reluctance I felt when I wrote my very first blog post.

I know writing this next phase of my story will be just as, if not more of an emotional roller coaster than that last.

The first was during my early childhood and most of it was about my mother and her skeletons. There was aftermath, but it was her aftermath.

This next book will begin as I am entering High school, my mother having  been missing for just short of a year. I was lost and confused, but determined to act like neither of those were true. I don’t even know that girl now.

I picked up one of my old journals for inspiration and I barely got through the first few pages before I had to put it down. I could feel the pain on those pages and worse yet, I knew what was to come.

The moment my mother left me, something in me changed. Something it took years of reflection to understand. I spent a great deal of my life beyond that point feeling as though I always had to prove something to someone. In the earlier years it was proving to everyone else that I was not my mother. Showing them that I could conquer anything and everything she couldn’t.

Needless to say, it led me down a road where I did a lot of things I am not necessarily proud of. Things…the majority of the people in my life have no idea I did and for that matter would have a hard time believing I ever could do.

Up until now, I was not ready to share these things with anyone, let alone the whole world.

But you know what?

The person I am today is not just the result of all of the good things I have done. It is also and maybe more so, everything I have done that I am not proud of, those little piece of myself hidden among the ashes.

I am living proof that in this life, we are not bound by the mistakes of our past or the circumstances placed on us by others.

If telling my story is an inspiration to even just one, it’s worth it. That was the whole reason I started this blog and went on to write the book. So believe me when I say, I am not going to quit now, just because I hit a raw moment!

Thank you to everyone who has been so patient, yet persistent 🙂 in kicking my butt back in gear!

The wheels have started turning and I promise you’ll be the first ones to get a sneak peek!

 

Playing Detective

Over the last few weeks I have really been trying to work on the timeline for the next book in the Insane Roots series. In recounting the early years I was blessed to have the assistance of family and friends in order to piece it all together.
However, when my mother disappeared in 1996 she went off everyone’s radar. She lived a multitude of lives during the time she was missing and unfortunately none of us really know what she was doing. This time marks the beginning of the next book, so you can see why I have been having trouble.

Then I remembered a news article I found after the last time she was arrested. She had been missing for about four years when I received a notification that she was again in Federal custody.

4d113cde22393.image.jpg

http://www.messenger-index.com/news/federal-fugitive-arrested-in-emmett/article_f2f31d42-0d5c-11e0-a645-001cc4c03286.html

At the time she had 27 known aliases. Adding the newly added names in the last two years for a grand total of 31.

31 one alternative lives that most of us knew nothing about.

I figured that perhaps the best place to start would be to find a way to learn all 31 of her identities. My mother was always doing something illegal no matter what name she was using and if I could find a way to track this, it would be much easier to piece it all together.

Time to play detective!

So far I have only found 10 of the 31, but even that has been eye opening. I won’t give too much away, but let’s just say, my mother was ‘married’ several times under several different names and has lived in almost every one of the continental United States. The more I travel down the rabbit hole, the more I am utterly fascinated by her “talents” for lack of a better word!

If anyone has any suggestions on search engines, please share! This is a big can of worms and I could use all the help I can get 🙂