Like I said the other day, I think we forget sometimes, just how much power we have in creating the life we desire. Sure, there are a million things we can’t control, but the one thing we can control is how we think and therefore how we feel. I know it doesn’t always seem like that. Especially for anyone who battles with depression, anxiety or any other mentally challenging disorders. And I’m not saying it’s easy either, it’s not, but if we ever want to truly be content in this life, we must find a way to change the way we think.
That is the only way to change the way we feel and the negative belief system that has been ruling our lives. After all, a belief is just something you keep thinking over and over again; that doesn’t make it true.
You might be thinking, “Sure, that’s easy for you to say, your life is great!”
And I would reply, “Then, I must be doing a pretty good job of convincing myself it is!”
Hicks always says, “Fake it until you make it!” and that is literally what you have to do, almost every day.
Do you think I wake up every day happy and excited?
Well, I can tell you that is very rare.
For me, depression is like an evil villain lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce on my good mood at any given moment. I never know when it will hit me or what the trigger will be. The only thing I do know for sure is that its visit is inevitable.
Every day before I open my eyes, I take the first thought that comes to mind and should it be a negative one, I take a deep breath and say to myself, “Not today” and then I reach for the closest positive thought I can find. And I continue to do that until I have moved my train of thought over to something or someone that makes me smile.
If that doesn’t work (and sometimes it doesn’t), I may surrender to the moment, but as soon as I have a chance to release those emotions, I take it.
Whether that be writing, painting or simply taking a moment to blubber about it, we all need an outlet. I have a friend who whenever they get upset, they go running and I have another friend who whenever they get upset, they go for a drive.
The point is, we are all human and part of being human means that we are emotional beings. There is nothing we can do to change that.
And emotions are meant to be expressed. It is when they are not that we find ourselves spinning out of control.
Which is why having a support system or at least one person who knows you as well as (if not more than) you know yourself, is detrimental in winning the fight.
We all need that one person who is understanding and supportive, but also not afraid to call us out on our shit!
Something I think we all need every once in a while 🙂
The minute you turn from the ones who care for you, you surrender completely to whatever it is that is causing you to feel that way.
Whether it is a person, a problem or an illness, when you turn away from the world and crawl inside yourself, you are giving up your power to change your circumstance.
You become, the title of one of my favorite Perfect Circle songs – Weak and Powerless.
Maybe this will only last a few months, but there is always a chance of permanence.
Darkness in a world full of color.
The longer you spend in the dark, the harder it becomes to find the light.
Because every thought you think, results in an emotion and every emotion another thought that leads to another emotion…you get the point.
“when you are feeling insecure you start to think the way you are feeling. Then, you begin to feel the way you think and feeling becomes the means of thinking. When this occurs, the mind becomes immersed in the body and you begin thinking as a body and not as a mind; it becomes your state of being.” – Dr. Joe Dispenza
So when we wallow and believe me, I can be the queen of wallowing sometimes, we begin to validate the negativity we are experiencing.
The story we tell ourselves is incredibly important. It forms the way we see the world and ourselves. As well as determines what we attract into our current reality.
This was a huge revelation I had back in 2016 and it has been my savior over the past few years when it comes to pulling myself back from the downward spiral of emotions that can pull me away from my path. I wrote a post about it that you can find here, What is Your Story?
Obviously, I have not yet mastered the art and perhaps I never will, but at least I’m trying.
And some part of it must be working, because I am seeing evidence of it more and more as time goes on.
Take for instance that last few months or even all of last year for that matter. It has been an emotional roller coaster for me.
My heart has been broken, friends have let me down and in many cases, I have let myself down, but despite the disappointments of the past, I am still going strong!
I have learned that although it is natural to feel defeated at times or get caught up in someone or some event in our lives, if we dwell in this place for too long, we may let something amazing walk right on by.
Life has a funny way of working itself out and it is way too short to hold on to the people who do not value you or cling to the mistakes of the past. This life is about moving forward, not backward.
Sometimes what we want and what we need are completely opposed to one another and that is just all there is to it.
How do we know the difference?
That is a tough question to answer, but I’ll give it a shot based on my own experiences.
First of all, you should never have to beg for love and/or attention from someone who truly cares for you, because to those who truly care it is something you will never have to question. Words are merely words and leave the lips of the deceitful just the same as they do from those with good intentions.
The difference is that those with good intentions validate those words with actions. We all make mistakes and behave in ways we are not proud of, so I am not saying you should dismiss anyone who doesn’t put you on a pedestal – that’s a bit extreme!
It is okay to give someone a chance to make amends, but be careful about letting them off too easy. The word sorry is over used and over appreciated in my opinion and it is again just a word. True amends are made by going the extra mile, not just apologizing for what you did wrong.
The day you embrace this knowledge you will find that you hold not only yourself, but everyone-else in your life to a higher standard.
And I assure you, when you least expect it, you will cross paths with someone you may have never seen coming, had you been too busy chasing after someone else.
And the same advice is relevant with circumstances too.
Just like people, opportunities will come and go in your life, you just have to try your best to ensure you are going after the right ones and not spending too much time trying to make the wrong ones into something they are not.
We are all in this together… some of us just weren’t meant to walk next to one another.
Image courtesy of suwatpo at FreeDigitalPhotos.net