Let the new chapter begin!
Since September, my life has been in transition. I have had so many things going on that it has been hard to get back in my usual groove. I used to blog two to three times per week and most of the time I didn’t struggle much with what to write. A lot of the time, I would wake in the morning bursting with things to say. As if they had spent the whole night bubbling to the surface. More recently that has not been the case. Call it a rut if you will, but whatever is going on, I needed to find a resolution.
I think a lot of it is that I have been traveling so much. I am never in one place for more than two weeks before it is on to the next. It was exhilarating at first, but after three months I am over it. Don’t get me wrong, I love traveling when it involves exploring the places I have never been. But let’s be honest, I had my fair share of that growing up with my mother.
Perhaps that is why I somewhat treasure the routine, those quiet moments in each day that hold familiarity and comfort. Waking at dawn, conversing over coffee or a simple pause to catch my breath. I have great respect for those who can manage such a busy lifestyle. I guess you never know until you try and now I know that it is just not for me. Traveling once every two months, sure, but every two weeks? Ya not my cup of tea! However, I value the experience, for without it I would have never known.
I hold great excitement for the months to come. For I have redefined my life. I have taken charge just as I said I would and everything finally seems to be falling into place. And now, it is time to get back in the groove!
What a better place to start than to pick up where I left off in the research for my 2nd book. Three months ago I wrote to you in regards to the challenges I was facing Playing Detective.
My mother is still currently missing as she was during the time the second book takes place. Not a word from her to anyone in over 4 months. At the end of Insane Roots: The Adventures of a Con-Artist And Her Daughter, she had left for what would end up being over 4 years, one of her longest disappearances. It is almost as if the timing could not be more perfect, as if we have come full circle.
I know that if I do see her again, it will not be for many years. And much like now, pinpointing her whereabouts will be dependent on determining what name she was using at that time. And not until after her reappearance will I be able to back track through court records and sift through her aliases to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
Unlike my first memoir, this would be the first time she had left me behind by choice. There are no memories to fit together, no stories from relatives or friends to help formulate a picture of that time.
The only information I have to start with is the day she left and a rough estimate of the day she reappeared. So far, I have managed to link several names to corresponding lives and a multitude of stories she has told me over the years. I created a timeline of my own life during that time already in which I plan to incorporate these findings.
My original plan was to write the book in tandem, by using journal entries from my younger self partnered with the “adventures” of my mother. The basis of this format was drawn from the fact that the journals I kept at that time were essentially a letter to my mother, hence the working title: Dear Mom.
However as the writing process continues, I am not quite sure that this going to work. First of all, have you ever read a teenage girls high school journals before or your own for that matter? It can be very sobering. Granted, I was going through a lot at that time, but if I am being honest, I was extremely dramatic. I guess we all are at that age though!
Anyway, I decided after the first few pages that perhaps my original plan was not the best one. I still like the idea of including some of the journal entries to give the reader the raw sense of what I was feeling at that time and how I overcame it, but maybe just not all of them.
Then comes the challenge of finding out just what my mother was doing during the time she was missing. I think that maybe I should just keep my focus on that for now. After all, once that is done then all I really have to do is put it all together and write from my heart. Which is what comes natural to me and gives me the greatest joy.
If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them. I contacted the US Marshall’s office about getting a list of aliases, but no one ever called me back. Not surprising considering they most likely have more important things going on. Although she is a federally wanted fugitive, so I thought they might consider it helpful to have someone else on the trail 🙂
Either way, I am not going to rush it. I am sure it will all fall together when the time is right. So for now, I will just keep pushing forward.