It’s Okay…To Feel All Of It!

It’s been a bit, but I’m back, hopefully for good and I have something to say (imagine that).

The intent of a lot of what I have written in the past is the hope that it may help in some way to break the stigma that surrounds those of us who struggle with depression, anxiety and the like. I am sick and tired of it being treated as if it means that there is something wrong with us or that every time we get upset or hurt by something that it is the root cause and thus we are over reacting. And even if it is the cause or we are over reacting, those feelings are still valid and we have every right to feel them.

It seems as though whenever we have any sort of negative feeling or an emotional moment that it is almost dismissed as due to our depression. I’m not saying we don’t create our own spiral sometimes and that depression doesn’t contribute to that in many cases, but what I am saying is that it is not always the culprit.

What I think people forget is that for many of us, depression is not something that comes and goes. It is something that we fight everyday. It is part of our normal routine to battle feelings of inadequacy, emptiness & destructiveness. Stress is an everyday part of life. It is a normal human emotion that needs to be felt and experienced in order to find appreciation in the opposite. When you experience stress, your body responds physically and mentally and those responses help your body and mind adjust to new situations. I would argue that depression is an elevated version of that process and as with any challenge in life, it helps you grow. Hindering that, is hindering growth.

It is a part of myself that I have learned to manage and quite well I might add. Now, if anyone lived inside my head they may argue that point, but that is the workspace where I filter through the noise in order to be the put together person everyone else sees (maybe only partially sometimes). The point is, I have not been managing it for this long with out being able to determine the difference between feelings that are stemming from the shadows and those that were brought on by someone or something in the external world.

I know when I’m having a moment and when I’m pissed off or upset by something. They are two very very different things and I don’t love either of them, but I know the difference between the two. It is a bit insulting to think that after all these years, I wouldn’t. After all, I am still here aren’t I?

What I’ve described above is the reason I think many of us keep ourselves hidden. The way people treat us is honestly by no fault of their own. If you don’t know what it’s like, there no real way to truly understand. And when you care about someone and you see them struggling, it’s only natural to want to “fix” them, to make them feel better, to somehow get rid of the emotional roller coaster they are riding.

YOU CAN’T. Like with any coaster, once you are strapped in, you just have to ride it out. Depression can be managed and I’m not advocating against that. I encourage everyone to do what they feel is best for them in that regard. My message is for those who have a loved one and struggle with what to do when they are not feeling quite up to par.

Try to remember it’s not always the depression talking. There is a person in there remember, and not everything they are feeling is because of the darkness.

Rather than telling someone a part of them is broken and needs to be fixed, try validating them or perhaps trying to understand things from their view point. It may be easy for you to carry around the boulder of mounting stress in any situation, but try doing that with a heaviness that is already mounted on your soul. Now that takes some major strength.

It’s not easy and anyone who does it deserves a round of applause. And if they are able to have more good days than bad, then as far as I am concerned, they deserve a flipp’n metal!

To learn more about feelings related to depression and how you can help, check out the article below. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-depression-feels-like-5088793

And if you or someone you love are struggling, please know it is okay not to be okay and most of all you don’t have to do it alone, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 to talk it out.

With Love,

Insane Roots

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