If I have learned anything over these past few weeks it is that this crazy life is just too short not to go after what you want. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us and the longer you wait to secure your fate, the greater the chance that what you want may vanish before you find the courage to hold it tight.
I woke up this morning with doubt in my mind about something I was absolutely sure of the day before. It is amazing how something small that someone says can plant the seed of confusion in your mind. Has something changed?
Did I miss a fork in the road? Or is it just the painful impatience of wanting what I want right now and not knowing for sure if I will ever have it.
It has been said that the joy is in the journey and I agree, but when you have a tendency to misread things for your own peace of mind, only to find out later that you were merely another meaningless face in the crowd, focusing on the joy in the process becomes the hardest challenge you have ever faced.
And so I ask myself a question, impossible to answer, “How much of this is all in my mind?”… Rooted in insecurities and self defeating patterns of the past.
Most of it I am sure, but the mere knowledge of that doesn’t seem to stop the cycle.
And so I spin…and spin…and spin.
Until I find a moment of reflection such as this.
For a moment, I stop, but only long enough to find a distraction from my over active imagination.