Alone With Myself

In the darkest of night, I sit alone with my thoughts.

Hopes and dreams of grandeur fill my mind.

And for a moment, I feel weak, lonely and afraid.

Questions swim around in my head to the point of exhaustion.

There is so much I have not yet done.

The road ahead seems to stretch on for miles and miles with no end in sight.

It is filled with hills, valleys and fallen trees.

Yet around any corner could be the end.

Will I have enough time to fulfill my destiny, find love and be at peace with where I am?

And in that respect, what is my destiny, who is my love, where am I going?

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and open.

As I look around the room, my vision adjusting to the darkness, I begin to see those tiny parts of me seep in through the cracks of light around me.

Photos in frames, hugging close those memories of times in the past.

Treasured moments pieced together on my wall. The collection of my life.

And then it occurred to me,

This is my destiny…this life I am living right now!

I have love.

Maybe not in the form of romance, but my heart is full.

To be alone is sometimes just where you need to be.

Content with all that you are and the knowing that you are doing the very best that you can.

There is great power within all of us.

The power to choose.

Everyday, as we wake we are given yet another chance to go forward in this life.

We can cower behind fear or we can leap into the unknown.

For a very long time, I cowered.

Afraid to let anyone in for fear that they may let me down.

Terrified of love, because there was always the potential of heartbreak.

But that is not a life.

To have our foot nailed to the floor running circles around our own insecurities.

We will never get anywhere doing that.

Pain is a part of life.

It makes us stronger, more aware of our true desires.

It brings us closer to who we are and in the end is that not the goal.

To be let down allows us more room to grow.

We all need to trim our leaves from time to time so that we may bloom into the beautifully unique person we were always meant to be.

Without risk, there is no reward.

Not in life and most certainly not in love.

 

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