Happy Mother’s Day Mom! – Love you 🙂
For those of you who have been following my story, you know that Mother’s Day can be a bit convoluted for me. In years past, this has been a bit of an emotional day. Usually because I either had no idea where my mother was or I had recently been the victim of one of her most recent con-schemes. This year is very different.
I was able to reconnect with my mother on my terms and I have a new love for her and our relationship. I am not sure if I will ever be able to trust her again fully, but it’s a start. The growth I have done in the past two years has given me a new appreciation for all that I have experienced…good and bad.
I know in my heart that all that we have been through together has contributed to the person I am today. Rather than being resentful towards her for the past, I am now able to appreciate our journey together and look forward to the future.
Her misdoings have made me strong, resilient and self-reliant. Because of her, I learned at a very early age that everything is not always as it seems to be. I know that I am responsible for my own happiness and that relying on others to do it for me is not only unfair to them, but unhealthy for me.
I would not be who I am if it had not been for her. I have experienced so much more than most in my early years on the run with mom 🙂 We never stayed in one place very long, which gave me the skills to adjust to any situation rather quickly. We have been everywhere from Florida to Washington and although many times were hard, living in our car, leaving the ones I loved and starting over again and again, I would not change a single moment.
On this day for many years, I used to focus on the negative aspects about my mother and that always led me down a path of hurt and disappointment. This mother’s day I would like to celebrate her many good qualities and the blessings she has bestowed on my life.
As children, we look up to our parents and model our behavior after theirs. I am very fortunate to have a mother who is warm, out going, independent & strong. She may have made some bad choices in her life, but she taught me to behave quite differently. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ were always required. Including having respect for my elders and those less fortunate.
Almost every spring, my mother would begin the great purge! She would go through every closet, cupboard & drawer in the house to dispose of the excess items we have have accumulated. Many times this included getting rid of old toys that I no longer played with, which I wasn’t too thrilled about. My mother explained to me that there were other children whose parents could not afford to buy them nice things. Each year we would take a box of my old toys and donate them to the local thrift store. As a reward, I got to pick out a small toy in its place. Looking back on this now, it is one of the lessons taught to me by my mother that has carried the greatest weight over the years. It is a little ironic considering many of the toys we were donating may not have been acquired with legal currency, but it’s the final take away that is important in this story 🙂
This not only taught me to take the needs of others in to consideration, but it helped me to become less attached to material things. In the early years, we left a lot of stuff behind from entire apartments full of belongings, to pets and people. Having this understanding that we must find happiness from within ourselves has been a very beneficial asset for me.
My mother has also given me an enormous network of family and friends. Thanks to her, I have been blessed with meeting a multitude of strong women who took me under their wing, helping me grow and loving me as if I were their own.
My God-mother, Maryellen – Thank you for being my light in the darkest of hours. Helping me to grow stronger and stronger in my faith. You never gave up on me and even though you may have disagreed with some of the decisions I have made, it has never diminished the love in your heart. You were the first person to step in as my mother and love me like I was your own flesh and blood. I will always be eternally grateful.
My Sister, Misty – Love is our blood! I could never have dreamed of a more perfect person to call my sister. We are so much alike, it’s hard to believe we were not born of the same clan 🙂 I am so thankful for you!
My Aunts! – Becka, Birdy, Linda & Loretta – Never once have you placed me in the shadows of my mother’s actions. You have loved and supported me every step of the way and for that I can never truly express my gratitude. I love you all so much!
My Momma Della – You are my strength. I know that I can always come to you with anything. I hide nothing from you and you love me in my rarest of forms. Had it not been for you, I may have lost myself a long time ago. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you are. I look up to you with the highest respect. You are an exceptional person and I am so blessed to be able to call you Momma 🙂
My Best Friend – Amanda – You have given me a model of the mother I hope to become someday. Someone with a heart so big and a love so true. If I am being honest, I don’t know where I would be without you. I love you M’Lady!
And that is just the tip of the iceberg. I could go on and on, but this post would end up being a mile long if I did! Those not mentioned are not forgotten.
Life is so precious and the ones we meet along the way no mater the circumstance can truly change our lives forever.
Thank you all for being you and loving me simply for being me!