I have been dabbling with writing the second book in the Insane Roots series, but I had not harmonized with it until just recently. Once you have put yourself out there, you would think it would be easy to do it again. In my case, it’s not.
~ Spoiler Alert!~ (discussing book two)
At the end of Insane Roots: The Adventures of a Con-Artist and Her Daughter, my mother left me. I was entering high-school, a time when any teen would be dealing with the normal insecurities that come with those years and on top of it, I had absolutely no idea where my mother was. Immersed in the lies she told me, still having trouble separating truth from fiction. I was living with my grandparents, people my mother had told me horrid stories about and up until this moment I had little doubt they were true. There are a lot of things that will go in the pages of the next book that I am not entirely proud of. Many times where I acted foolishly. I say I am not proud of them and that is true, but I believe sharing them with my readers is very important to fully express my journey to overcome. We all make mistakes and it is not until we have a chance to reflect upon them that we are really able to understand the impact they had on forming the person we are now.
The beginning of my story as laid out in Insane Roots, was more the story of how my mother’s actions influenced me in those very early years of my childhood. What comes next is truly my story. Leading up to this point, my mother had a great deal of influence on me, but then she just left. With no explanation and very little warning.
The person I became has such deep roots in those moments just after she left. The road I took the day she left has led me in so many directions. Some were good and some not so good. But in the end, I would not be who I am had it been any different.
Looking back on those years when she was gone and then again when she reappeared was a rabbit hole of self exploration. I learned patterns of behavior in myself and most importantly discovered the many triggers that induced those patterns. I realize now that a part of me was trying to prove something to everyone and the other part of me was beginning to follow in my mother’s emotional footsteps. It was a constant battle between good and evil in my own mind.
After reading my memoir, the most common phrase from readers is “It’s a wonder you turned out so well”. This next book is the story of how that happened. Now that readers have been given my insane roots, it is time to share the story of how those roots gave life to the woman you all know today.
Let’s just put it this way. I was not always so put together and the journey to this moment has been one hell of a ride!