When I first signed the contract with Morgan James Publishing for Insane Roots – A Memoir: The Adventures of a Con-Artist and Her Daughter, back in September, I was patiently awaiting the moment it would all finally become real. That moment has arrived!
I received the gallery copy of the book for one last review before it is sent to the printers. As I read through the pages, it is slowly starting to sink in that soon my story will be on bookshelves everywhere and there is no going back now.
I will admit that the whole process has been really overwhelming and a bit out of my comfort zone. I love to write, but marketing myself is not one of my strong suits. I hate being the center of attention and I was raised to be humble above all else. So the idea of standing up in front of a room full of people or self promotion in any manner really makes my skin crawl.
For someone who battles with self-esteem and social anxiety as I do, it can be a major challenge to step out of your shell.
Unfortunately, It is a necessary evil that I must find a way to overcome. Any advice on this would be more than appreciated 🙂
Marketing has been all I have been focusing on for the last few months, so it is a fresh of breath air to be getting back to the nitty gritty of making final adjustments and working on the second book in the series!
I made it through the entire book today, with only a few minor changes. It was a great experience to put myself in the shoes of the reader.
At first, I found myself being hyper critical of my writing style and began to get cold feet about putting it out there to the public. Then I reminded myself that I am my worst critic and if Morgan James Publishing and the many others who have read the original manuscript had faith in me then there was really no reason to be nervous. Once again, I was letting fear rule my mind and emotions.
Once I made the connection, I was able to step back and view it on a more objective level. It took a few chapters to really get rolling, but I think that is the same with most books really. It is a memoir and given the complicated background of my mother and I, it took a while to explain everything. Our history is hard enough for me to comprehend, let alone trying to explain it to someone with no knowledge of the situation. That having been said, I think I did a pretty good job of piecing it all together. 🙂
By the time I reached Chapter two, I couldn’t put it down and I know the story! I submitted the final manuscript months ago and I haven’t really read over any of it since then, so it was nice to come back to it with a fresh mind and a fresh set of eyes.
There were several stories in the book that stirred up my emotions, just as they had when I was writing them. I believe every moment we experience in life contributes to forming who we are today. Re-reading the story of my younger years has reminded me of the impact that part of my life has had in shaping the person writing to you now. It is amazing to think of the multitude of routes my life could have taken as the result of the stories found in this book.
I could have dwelt on my misfortunes and kept myself down in a state of self pity and regret, but I didn’t. I think I forget that sometimes; just how far I have come.
I would like to share with you now an excerpt from the book that really inspired me to remember this any time I find myself heading down that path of self criticism. I think this can be true for anyone facing struggle, whether it is brought on them by someone else or themselves.
As a child, I remember my mother telling me that if I was ever in trouble, I should just turn around and run away. That was easy for her to say; the pain of all of her mistakes has yet to catch up with her. I, however, am the one she left behind. I have never been given the choice to run away and hide from her flaming bridges. Instead, I am left to face it, deal with it, and rise above it. So, everything she has run away from I have rushed into and conquered. I am thankful, in a sense, for her horrible decisions and selfish endeavors because had I not been the result of irresponsibility during the heat of passion, I would not have become the lessons learned from her mistakes.
As I prepare the final revisions of this first book for submission, I am filled with inspiration to get started on the second book in the series. As you can imagine, I was not able to fit all of my mother’s many excursions into the pages of Insane Roots (without it turning in to a 500 page novel!), so I decided it would be best to break it up in to a series instead. The next book has the working title, Dear Mom and will pick up right where Insane Roots leaves off. I know it will again be an emotional journey for me to revisit these moments, but it is a journey I am ready to take!