Do I have a valid reason to be upset?

I am pretty sure the answer is no, but I would love to hear your thoughts…

I think in most cases, people don’t have the intention of leaving someone out (with the exception of mean people). Certain people are just draw to each other. Whether it by similar interests, belief systems, etc.

Let’s face it, in every social setting we can look around and see groups of like minded individuals congregating together. In high-school I called them cliques. Whatever you would like to call them, the point is that they exist. In my previous job they were very evident and I know a lot of people who continually felt left out (and still do). In the beginning, I did too, but after a while I started making an effort to creep out of my shell and get to know the people I worked with better to find the group I got along with the best. Had I not made an effort, I don’t think I would have been able to get upset by being left out.

I bring this up because one of my previous co-workers that I considered to be one of my close friends is getting married soon and I am pretty sure I was not sent an invitation. I have moved out of the state, but that doesn’t seem to be a very good reason not to invite me.

She posted a status update on FB the other day talking about how exciting it is to be getting her RSVPS in the mail. I read this and I was crushed. She never contacted me for my address and as of that day I had not received an invitation. I knew in my heart that my assumption was true.

Before I moved, we talked about the wedding and all of her plans. We have kept in touch since the move off and on and when I was back visiting in June she gave me no reason to believe there was any bad blood between us. I don’t know why there would be, but I am just trying to figure out why I didn’t make the cut.

I still have nothing but love for her and I wish them all the best. I also do not plan to bring this up to her either. She has a lot going on and besides this is my issue not hers.

Maybe I am over thinking this all and she just had too many people on her invite list to include me, but it still hurts.

Do I  have a valid reason to be upset or is it simply that I did not involve myself enough to be considered?

Image courtesy of Phaitoon at


3 thoughts on “Do I have a valid reason to be upset?

  1. Have you contacted your friend to see if they did send you an invitation? Maybe it was sent to your old address, didn’t get forwarded… I’m not trying to make excuses – I’ve been left out like that too. I’m just asking if you’ve made sure it’s deliberate or an oversight. Sometimes we have to speak up for ourselves, but if you’re constantly having to make an effort to be included then it’s worth assessing if it’s good for you in the long run.

    I’ve had coworkers whom I thought we were on friendly terms disappear when we no longer worked together. Like school and such, some can be “friends by proximity”.

    Liked by 1 person

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