This past New Years, I was spending time with a dear friend and the subject of resolutions came up. I was just embarking on my mission to connect with my true nature, so naturally I made a grand declaration to accept and love myself. My friend suggested that I also, “learn to take a compliment.”
It may sound like an easy proposition to most, but it was definitely something I needed to work on. It used to annoy him to great length when my response to his every compliment (and he gave them out freely) was dismissive in some way. I would usually roll my eyes and laugh or make some argument about why he was most likely mistaken. I never internalized what he was saying.
Knowing this, I agreed that it was a good addition to the grand resolution I had already made.
As many of you know, the last six months have been a bit rocky as I adjust to new surroundings and face my struggles in emotional healing. I was in a very low place emotionally when I first set out on this path. I had created such a negative bubble around myself that even the most sincere of all compliments was unable to penetrate it.
I don’t know about you, but I am my worst critic. A perfectionist by nature, I used to pick out my every flaw and obsess over it until I was left feeling horribly inadequate. In this state, I dismissed the kind words of others to simply those of pity. It was a very unhealthy state of mind.
Once I broke free from my patterns of negativity and replaced them with positive affirmations, my entire outlook on myself changed. I no longer spend time picking myself apart in the mirror or building up the walls around me. I have accepted myself for who I am, flaws included. Rather than assuming the worst, I try my best to assume nothing at all about any situation. My focus is instead on staying true to myself and appreciating the moment I am experiencing above all else.
It has taken a lot of work and positive thinking to burst that bubble of negativity and something happened this weekend that made it all worth while.
I was introduced to someone new and upon shaking his hand, he looked right in to my eyes and exclaimed, “Wow, you are so beautiful!”
I turned bright red of ‘course, but then I replied, “Aww, thank you, that means so much to me!”
And most importantly, I meant it!
It did mean so much to me. Not just because it was an extremely thoughtful thing to say, but because it reminded me of the power of our words on others. Part of what helped me heal my broken thinking over the past few months was learning to internalize the compliments given to me by others and myself.
A simple compliment can completely change someones day (or in my case, their week!).
I have now vowed to pay this forward 🙂
“Wow, you are so beautiful!!”