A week ago, I published a post in regards to the way I was working through the reappearance of my mother. I have done a great deal of thinking about the situation and I am feeling much more open to the idea of reconnecting with my mother. I of ‘course do not mean at this moment in time, but I know it is not something that I can completely rule out in the future.
After my last post, an avid reader contacted me and gave me his very thoughtful two cents on the situation. He has has been a reader since day one of this blog and I value his insight and opinion. This is obviously a very sensitive subject for me as I have a lot of emotion invested and it was wonderful to hear the opinion of someone outside of the situation.
“In my honest opinion, especially since you are dealing with all this and writing about it, that it may be beneficial to you to try to sit down with her (meaning my mother) one more time. That is when you are ready to. As much as it hurts you it seems to me as if you have a pretty firm grasp on who she is and the situation she has created. I would think writing all of this if anything makes you that much stronger to deal with her…. But if you choose to go through with it, you make her come to you, your city, place of your choosing (obviously not your house, lol). and on your terms. Walk in, be strong but not unapproachable. See where she’s coming from, give her a chance to speak. It’s on her to start the dialogue, you shouldn’t have to say s**t. From there you a good enough judge of character to determine if she’s sincere or not. And if you even for one second feel like she is full of it or has some sort of agenda, you say your final goodbyes, give her a hug and leave. Don’t be sad, don’t get mad, be strong. Be prepared for anything, you’re not going into it blind, you know how she can be, the type of person she HAS been. You don’t need anything from her to validate your place in the world….But now getting it all out in a book I feel like you are finally ready to live with wherever the story ends. Your upcoming books could have two very different endings but I think you owe it to yourself to determine the final chapter, not her…”
Thank you A for your very thoughtful insight and support. It’s people like you that give me the motivation to keep on going no mater how rough it gets 🙂
As I said, I do not plan on connecting with her anytime soon, but I have set a date far in to the future on which I will reevaluate the situation. This date is known only to me and I think it was a good way to set it and forget it so that I may focus on the larger tasks at hand.