New Campaign & Book Updates!

As always, from my silence comes much inspiration. I’m up to 23K words written for the sequel of Insane Roots (so about 1/2 way there). I was hoping for a release date sometime this fall and I believe that should still be the case, it just may be late fall 🤗

The process of writing this time around has been like stepping back in time, standing like a wallflower in the shadows of my former life. My journal has been a helpful tool in recapping the events of my youth, although hard to read at times. If you wade through the sadness and teenage angst, there is a timeline of crucial information. As with the first book, reliving the bullying and heartbreak of those years has been a therapy session all in itself.

One that has inspired me to dedicate the month of August to #mentalhealthawareness

Highlighting specifically that it is okay not to be okay sometimes. Something I wish someone would have told me during those trying years of high school and beyond. I spent so much energy back then hiding the way I was feeling and the depression and anxiety I battled on a daily basis. I tried to be someone I wasn’t, to fit in, to be “normal”.

Looking back, all I was doing by hiding inside myself was hindering the person I was to become. The person I am proud to be today. The ability to experience a variety of emotions at any given time is the gift of being human although at times it may feel like a curse.

To all those who were cruel to me in the past, I hold no malice nor wish them any ill will. They may be the reason I found it so hard to trust anyone for so long, but now that I am grown, I realize their actions were merely a reflection of emotions they themselves were struggling to deal with. We were all doing the best with could with our level of understanding of the world at that time.

Forgiveness is freeing and it allows us the ability to understand our adversaries from a common ground; being an emotional being.

We are over halfway through 2020 and it has not been easy, but if we are able to find a way to connect on some level of existence, surely we will be moving in the right direction towards unity rather than division.

One thing in life that I believe rings true for everyone is the inevitable truth that there are times in our lives when we are not at the top of our game. For whatever reason, we are not okay.

This August, I would like to remind you that it’s okay, not to be okay.

In fact, it is a healthy and natural part of being human.

Here and across my social media accounts, I shall dedicate each day to some form of not being okay and why that in itself is okay.

The takeaway, I hope, will be the understanding that although division in thought is inevitable, there will always be unity in emotion.

May it be a stepping stone to peace.  

It’s Okay…To Feel All Of It!

It’s been a bit, but I’m back, hopefully for good and I have something to say (imagine that).

The intent of a lot of what I have written in the past is the hope that it may help in some way to break the stigma that surrounds those of us who struggle with depression, anxiety and the like. I am sick and tired of it being treated as if it means that there is something wrong with us or that every time we get upset or hurt by something that it is the root cause and thus we are over reacting. And even if it is the cause or we are over reacting, those feelings are still valid and we have every right to feel them.

It seems as though whenever we have any sort of negative feeling or an emotional moment that it is almost dismissed as due to our depression. I’m not saying we don’t create our own spiral sometimes and that depression doesn’t contribute to that in many cases, but what I am saying is that it is not always the culprit.

What I think people forget is that for many of us, depression is not something that comes and goes. It is something that we fight everyday. It is part of our normal routine to battle feelings of inadequacy, emptiness & destructiveness. Stress is an everyday part of life. It is a normal human emotion that needs to be felt and experienced in order to find appreciation in the opposite. When you experience stress, your body responds physically and mentally and those responses help your body and mind adjust to new situations. I would argue that depression is an elevated version of that process and as with any challenge in life, it helps you grow. Hindering that, is hindering growth.

It is a part of myself that I have learned to manage and quite well I might add. Now, if anyone lived inside my head they may argue that point, but that is the workspace where I filter through the noise in order to be the put together person everyone else sees (maybe only partially sometimes). The point is, I have not been managing it for this long with out being able to determine the difference between feelings that are stemming from the shadows and those that were brought on by someone or something in the external world.

I know when I’m having a moment and when I’m pissed off or upset by something. They are two very very different things and I don’t love either of them, but I know the difference between the two. It is a bit insulting to think that after all these years, I wouldn’t. After all, I am still here aren’t I?

What I’ve described above is the reason I think many of us keep ourselves hidden. The way people treat us is honestly by no fault of their own. If you don’t know what it’s like, there no real way to truly understand. And when you care about someone and you see them struggling, it’s only natural to want to “fix” them, to make them feel better, to somehow get rid of the emotional roller coaster they are riding.

YOU CAN’T. Like with any coaster, once you are strapped in, you just have to ride it out. Depression can be managed and I’m not advocating against that. I encourage everyone to do what they feel is best for them in that regard. My message is for those who have a loved one and struggle with what to do when they are not feeling quite up to par.

Try to remember it’s not always the depression talking. There is a person in there remember, and not everything they are feeling is because of the darkness.

Rather than telling someone a part of them is broken and needs to be fixed, try validating them or perhaps trying to understand things from their view point. It may be easy for you to carry around the boulder of mounting stress in any situation, but try doing that with a heaviness that is already mounted on your soul. Now that takes some major strength.

It’s not easy and anyone who does it deserves a round of applause. And if they are able to have more good days than bad, then as far as I am concerned, they deserve a flipp’n metal!

To learn more about feelings related to depression and how you can help, check out the article below.

And if you or someone you love are struggling, please know it is okay not to be okay and most of all you don’t have to do it alone, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 to talk it out.

With Love,

Insane Roots

It’s Okay To Be Human

Thank you to everyone who supported and participated in the It’s Okay campaign for August.

I really enjoyed sharing my thoughts with you each day and hopefully it brought some inspiration and/or motivation to you all.

With everything going on in the world, I felt everyone could use a reminder that it is okay not to be okay sometimes. We are human and humans feel a wide range of emotions. All of which are okay. Why?

Because our emotions are our guidance system, they offer us a deeper understanding of ourselves and how we interact with the world. They are valuable and essential to our growth. That is their value. One that is often overlooked. My hope is that putting the spotlight on each throughout the month has added to their value and perhaps assisted in understanding and growth.

Moving forward, I will be less present daily on my blog, but for a good cause. I have decided to take the time I was utilizing each morning before work and in my free time to finishing my next book. I set a deadline of completion for myself of Fall of 2020, but as everyone has experienced…nothing seems to go as planned this year!

I am still going to try my best to finish it yet this year, but in order to do that, I will be stepping away from my other writing projects & platforms in the meantime. I will try to share pieces with you along the way and thank you in advance for your patience.

This next book, the sequel to Insane Roots, has been challenging emotionally and sharing it with the world will require more courage than anything I’ve ever written. It will be a bit risky, but I can only hope it will be received warmly, with the knowledge that it was written from the heart, without malice and only with good intentions.

It’s Okay To Love Yourself

Day 29: It’s okay to love yourself

I was taught to always be humble. That there was a very thin line between being confident and arrogant. One that should be minded carefully. Over the years, I have realized that the line isn’t as thin as I thought, it’s just perceived that way. The best thing you can do for you is to learn to love yourself and embrace confidence. There shouldn’t be any shame in that.

Loving yourself is crucial, not shameful. Being humble is one thing, but don’t discount your positive attributes in the process.

Maybe take a moment today and find 10 things you love about yourself and write them down. The next time you’re feeling down about yourself, pull out the list and try to add to it. Not only will it give you a boost, but the list will continue to grow as will you.

Have a beautiful Saturday!

It’s Okay To Let Loose

Day 28: It’s okay to let loose!

Happy Friday Folks! Got any sweet plans for the weekend?

With everything going on right now, I’ve heard from a lot of people that they are having mixed feelings about enjoying themselves while the world around them is in turmoil. I completely understand. It’s only natural to feel a bit of guilt doing well when others are struggling, but sharing the good news in times of turbulence could actually have a positive effect.

Have you ever been down and out, feeling unbelievably lost, and in the perfect moment, you see evidence of another succeeding where you have failed, evidence of that light flickering on the horizon…I have and it inspired me to keep going.

There is no shame in being that light, no shame in reminding the world that things can change. That these struggles we are experiencing may be the path to positive advances in a world that feels divided and broken.

So, don’t be afraid to let loose, to celebrate the triumphs in your own life and the lives of others. It’s okay. We will all get through this, hopefully, wiser and more compassionate from having gone through it. 

And remember, you never know the change you may inspire, just by being brave enough to share your light with the world.

It’s Okay To Feel Depressed

Day 27: It’s Okay to Feel Depressed

Today, I would like to share another excerpt from my most recent publication, The Poetry of Emotion, on the subject of depression. One that as you will see, I have had a great deal of experience with. I continue to struggle at times, but it has improved so much over the years and the first step was not being afraid to admit to myself not only that I suffered from it, but that it didn’t have to something that crippled me.

If anyone is feeling the gravity of depression and anxiety, I hope by sharing my struggle, it will give you some relief in knowing that it’s okay and you’re not alone.

Stay strong, your darkness is beautiful and so are you.


Looking back on my life the years that formed me seem to be, in most instances, a blur. Their significance blind to the hopeless soul I was back then. They were of the most influential moments of my life and yet they are the farthest from the reality in which I currently exist. Perhaps it is the loneliness I once found an uncomfortable comfort in that disallows the appreciation of a time in its absence. And so, it is the loneliness to which I cling. After all, for the majority of my life it was the only real constant I had ever known.

I have always considered myself to be broken and more importantly, that being broken was far from beautiful.  I have come to learn, I was extraordinarily wrong. The most beautiful people in this world are the broken, the wounded and the left behind. For so long, we just simply never had a voice. A sounding board on which to express that which is not modern opinion and/or comprehension.

We are all beautiful. Every scar is something we’ve overcome, a wound healed and perhaps a lesson learned. They should not be judged harshly, but rather celebrated as a triumph of strength and accomplishment. You’ve faced something, regardless of its intensity and you have overcame.

I am not of the masses, the typical or the usual. I do not fit within the confines of the realities of most. And so, for so long…I did not feel as though I would survive. I have spent my days living on the outskirts, never getting too close or letting anyone far enough in to see the damage I try so hard to hide.

And thus, I’ve struggled in this world to be anything but unusual. Fitting in was survival. Being part of the pack was what I thought would give my life meaning. A purpose in a world that seemed strange and overwhelming. And when I didn’t fit in as a normal would, I found myself once again in a depressing spiral of discontent. Over and over again, I found myself in the same downward spiral until it eventually became a comfort. I was so used to being in pain that the torment became my preservation. And thus each day became harder than the next.

Now, some would simply shrug this off as life. After all, we all have ups and downs, perhaps those who experience the feelings I described above are of the hyperbolic, melodramatic breed. And I’ll give you that there is always going to be a certain amount of crazy we just can’t account for. But what if in some cases it’s more than that?

How many of you know someone who suffers from depression? I mean really think about it. There are those that have life experiences that cause a low and an understandable spout of immense sadness, which is life.

But I would bet that almost every person reading this knows at least one person, for whom it goes beyond that. It is not something that is talked about enough. It is one of those subjects that can sometimes get dismissed as if it is a cop out for the weak. But it’s not.  It’s real. And it’s about time we remove the veil of shame attached to it and understand it for what it truly is.

Those who, for lack of a better word, suffer from this said affliction are not at all weak. Quite the opposite actually. They are the warriors. They are the ones who wake each day with a mountain on their chest. Their heart as heavy as their mind, but still they find a way to rise. They push forward through the normal life struggles with an ocean of sadness on their back as if it is usual practice. It’s different for everyone, but that is the best generalization I can muster.

Personally, my best explanation is that each day for me feels like a prison. I wake each morning, battling myself, pushing against a current of self-doubt and hesitancy as I rise to face the day. ‘I am not alone’ I tell myself and all be it true, I still have to force myself to believe it. Every morning, of every day, I have to fight, with the one person I should trust the most, myself. Every affirmation of love brings a feeling of irrational inadequacy rooted in a childhood of indifference that I just can’t seem to escape.

It is in moments like these, those wee hours of the night, that it almost seems easier. Maybe it is because much of the world is asleep. Less of those to judge. Those who may never understand, just how vacant one can feel when faced with their own reflection. I see so much of her in me, yet I’m not really sure I even know who that is. And therefore, sometimes, really most of the time, I’m still struggling to find myself amongst what seems like a lifetime of never knowing what was real. I don’t know if I’ll ever figure it out. You know, genuinely find the solution to healing the misery of the past, but what I do know is…I’m not alone.  And neither are you.